Serving those we love - an eventful week in May

By Patrick Tan

Last month began as eventfully as any could have.

The first weekend of May saw me driving up to Muar in Malaysia to visit an uncle who had just been diagnosed with cancer. With me were my wife, sons and Khai Chien. Khai is one of my managers who had spent his youth in Malaysia. I was thankful that he was with me as he knew the roads well and made sure we took the best route.

The entire clan had gathered at my uncle’s place that weekend. What struck me was the new interest many of them took in my advocacy of qigong as one of the most effective means of maintaining one’s health. During my past visits, many of them only paid polite attention whenever I encouraged them to take it up. It was my uncle’s illness that awakened them to the vulnerability of their own constitution. It is unfortunate that it often takes a misfortune to spur us into action. I’ve always believed that prevention is better than cure. I gave my uncle a bottle of cordyceps, a potent ingredient in traditional Chinese medicine, hoping that it will aid in his recovery.

He was the second relative to have been diagnosed with cancer recently. Only about a month earlier, another uncle had also been diagnosed with cancer. He has since been discharged but I continue to visit him regularly at home where he is recuperating. I visit him with the specific purpose of nursing him emotionally, spiritually and physically. I make it a point to massage his limbs during my visits, knowing that it is a rare treat for him. Even though he lives with his adult children, none of them are skilled in the art of traditional Chinese massage.

A moving thing happened to me after I left his flat. Walking down a flight of stairs to the carpark, I encountered an elderly woman with a huge load, struggling down the stairs. I offered to assist her with her bags and she gratefully accepted. When we reached the bottom, she thanked me and told me, in dialect: “How I wish I had a grandson like you!” It touched me deeply.

That week also saw me arranging for my uncle’s (the one whom I visit to massage) eldest daughter - my cousin - to be treated by one of my regular traditional Chinese massage specialists because of some health problems that she had been experiencing herself. The look of sheer bliss on her face after the session was unforgettable. I drove her to the clinic myself and while waiting for her, decided to call a few advisors who happened to be in the vicinity for an impromptu coaching session over coffee. I am glad it turned out to be time well-spent for my cousin, my advisors and myself.

People often comment that I am a busy man. And yes, I am. My wife and mother often gently chide me for not getting sufficient rest at night. My daily schedule is typically packed from dawn to dusk. But my life is not filled with meetings and activities, although on the surface it may seem that way. Rather, my life revolves around people. The meetings and activities that take me all over the place - even across the Causeway - are incidental. It is people that populate my life and give meaning to the activities in it. To be able to love and serve them is what gives me joy.

Patrick Tan is the founder and Partner of JNP Group. He is also serves as a Director on IPP's Board of Directors.