Normal or Natural Living

As adults, we proudly believe that we are mature and wise enough to make decisions for ourselves. Ironically, we may not be making our own decisions at all. We may simply be programmed to act in certain set patterns. Throughout our lives, our family, schools, communities and society have shaped our individual beliefs. Influence and experience socialise us into mediocrity. Eventually, our future averages out to be so-so. Consciously or unconsciously, we've given up a huge part of our lives to be 'normal'.

Psychologically, being a part of the herd is comforting because we are the same as a whole lot of other people. There's strength in numbers isn't there? More often than not, this does more harm than good in our lives. It results in night after night of variety programes over TV-dinners. We laugh mindlessly, not knowing that the joke is really on us. Many of us have actually stopped thinking for ourselves and for our loved ones. With the bustle of each day, it is so easy to have 'no time' to think and reflect. Sadly, those closest to our hearts are the ones that will have to pay the price.


One example is in parenting. With the many parents we come in contact with, a huge number expressed their frustrations. Financial commitments can only be shouldered by double incomes. Both spouses MUST set off to work. The result? They don't get enough time with their kids. Despite these frustrations, most stay in these destructive patterns because everyone else is doing it. Why should they be any different? Such challenges are 'normal', aren't they? What can they do but deal with their 'normal' frustrations the 'normal' way? They talk it out over lunch and hope tomorrow will be a better day.


Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity was, 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'



For many, Einstien's definition of insanity is what's 'normal' to them.


Parenting struggles are not the only challenges we witness. Deteriorating health and crippling family relationships are often the consequence of accepting these norms.


In financial planning, we often ask our clients to picture themselves in the future. We tell them to imagine the lives they wish to live. This helps us to tag a numerical figure to their financial independence. This figure however, does not take into account the hours that they have to be apart from their loved ones. It does not take into consideration the black moods that many take home from the office. In the end, hard-earned evenings and weekends with loved ones become even harder to enjoy. The pursuit of financial independance often comes at an expensive trade off for their health and precious relationships with their loved ones.


"Just My Luck? "



We often hear the refrain that not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur. When this rings in our ears frequently enough, we choose to believe we're not cut out fot it. We begin to believe that successful entrepreneurs have some sort of guardian angels. Or that such fortune must be restricted to the lucky few.


Truth is, most successful entrepreneurs share only one thing in common. They don't just want success. They want success badly. Their compelling reasons may be different. But it is their willpower to succeed that sets them apart from the rest. This powerful combination of mental and physical hardwork sets a business thriving. Deciding to make it work is a decision anyone and everyone can make. And that includes you.



Imagine, Decide, Create!


Don't read on if you are truly happy and satisfied in all areas of your life. But if you're frustrated with trading your time with an unhappy experience, a change is in order. Accidents happen and you may have sent out your resume not really knowing what you were in for. You want a different life, but somehow you ended up in this current state. The good news is that we can live our lives differently. We can break out of the cycle that the herd creates. We can start making the right decisions for ourselves and for our loved ones. All it requires us to do is simply to take the next step with an end in mind.


Wherever you are in your life right now, it is never too late to change. Let your mind focus on what kind of life and future you really want to give to your loved ones and yourself. If you are a parent, are you satisfied with the attention you are currently offering to your children? As a child, are you craving more time with your aging parents? Do you wish for more financial means to give your loved ones a better life?


Angel's Advocate


Our boss Mr Patrick Tan, began his entrepreneurial journey with all these thoughts in his mind. (Do read our JNP Story to learn more about his life.) For all the major decisions that he undertakes, he often asks himself two questions: "How are my loved ones going to benefit from this decision?" and "How am I going to benefit from this decision?" As long as the benefits are plain and obvious, he will not hesitate to act.


He thus does not allow himself to toy with conflicting thoughts. Nor does he play useless mind games. He would much rather channel all his mental energy to think of ways to make his decisions work. Some that know him still speak of his success as an outcome of luck, Such comments merely whitewash his years of hardwork. Most importantly, it flushes out the love he has for his loved ones. And it is this that is the fuel that lights his dreams.



Think, Talk, Follow Through


With the decision he made, Patrick’s wife now enjoys life as a full-time mother for his two children. His parents now live out their golden years very contentedly; they live in a house that facilitates his mother's love for gardening and his father's passion for Tai-Ji.


Don't waste your life by resorting to just idle talk. When not dealt with, challenges are here to stay and multiply. If the career path of an employee seems like a nightmare to you, maybe it's time to dream up something new, Tap into your child-like imaginations and toy with new alternatives. President John F Kennedy once said, "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." With a simple decision to serve your loved ones, your destiny gets altered right there and then. Live life naturally - the way that best fits you. Don't live someone else's life because it is what everyone else is doing.